


The Doctor Seuss Affair

by spikesgirl58



Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-05-04
Packaged: 2018-03-29 00:19:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3875323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spikesgirl58/pseuds/spikesgirl58
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Challenge - write a story using the titles from Dr. Seuss' books.  This is my sort of goofy response.  Why isn't Napoleon making sense these days?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Doctor Seuss Affair

“I’m not going to get up today.”*

Since Napoleon was sitting on the couch, Illya cast him a doubtful look.  His partner and long-time lover was reading the newspaper, his glassed balanced on the end of his nose.  Illya took one last swallow of his cocktail and stood.  “I’m going to get another drink.  Do you want something?”

“You’re only old once.”*

Illya winced as an old injury in his back cramped.  “I hope so.”  Now retired, the agents lived a quiet and sedate life in upstate New York.  Now there was time to relax, to rest and to love each other.  To Illya’s way of thinking, it didn’t get any better.  “Anyhow, I’m up.  Do you want another drink?”

“A good day for up.”*

“Okay, you are being more cryptic than usual.  Have it your way.”  Illya grabbed both glasses and padded into the kitchen.   The moment he did, a cat, then another appeared.  “No, it’s not time to eat.  Where’s the kitten?”  Surprisingly enough the two felines did nothing more than _meow_ their complaints.  Illya walked back into the hall that divided the kitchen from the living room.  “Napoleon, the kitten?”

“The cat in the hat.”*

“She’s in the hat?”  Sure enough, there was a ball of white fur sound asleep in Illya’s favorite baseball cap.  “Thanks.”

He carried drinks and a bowl of mixed nuts back to the living room and set Napoleon’s down on the coaster. 

“Do you know how lucky you are?”*

“I think so.”

“And to think I saw it on Mulberry Street.”*

“Saw what?  Napoleon, you’re making no sense today.”  Illya pulled the paper away and Napoleon looked startled.

“What’s wrong?”

“You aren’t talking sense.”

“What sense?  Those are titles of Dr. Seuss’ books.  He died today.”

“Oh.  Were you close?”

“Dr. Seuss wrote children’s books, Illya.  _Horton Hears a Who, The Lorax, Green Eggs and Ham_.  Surely you’ve heard of them.”

“Can’t say that I have.”  Illya handed him his drink.

“ _How the Grinch Stole Christmas_ – everyone knows that one.  They made a cartoon out of it.”

“Is that the one with the melting snowman?”

“That’s Frosty.”

“The reindeer with the big nose?”

“Rudolph.  How long have you lived here?”

“Just long enough to know how to make you crazy.”  Illya winked.  “By the way, Napoleon, there’s a wocket in my pocket.”*

“And I thought you were just happy to see me.”

 

*indicates the titles of Dr. Seuss books.


End file.
